Tattoo Customer Horror Stories...

[SugarT]

It was a lonely rainy night, thunder and lightening, and the door opened to the studio.....*Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmm!!!!* and there he/she/they were, the customer from HELL!!! MWAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!

You guys know you've had them, havent seen this thread on here yet!

[SugarT]

No bites eh? ok ill start...

I had a woman come into the studio, mid to late 40's, dressed professionally, mild mannered, business attire. Real polite lady, wanted to add a tulip flower to 2 existing tulips on her left hip, made the appt, and off she went.

Day of the appt, she shows up, dressed nicely, still polite. Comes time for me to do the tattoo, and she strips down into her bra and panties, shes wearing kinda nice stuff, i guess, with garters and s&!t, like old folks lingerie, circa 1950's. Starts talking all this off the wall stuff, rubbing herself all over, in the mirror, like " this is my temple, my body, and your going to paint it and make it beautiful.."
As i think to myself, O___K!?!?!?WTF OVER?

As i start to apply said added tulip, she starts gyrating, more or less in some type of twilight zone porno climax, trying to tweak my nipples and grab my crotch, still talking all this crazy s&!t about her temple etc.

Now one thing id like to add at this juncture, i'm EXTREMELY happily married, i enjoy attention as much as anyone else and am flattered if 'hit on' by women, BUT, i wasnt getting that whole " i want this bad boy tattoo artist to do me" vibe, i was getting the whole " i touched a lotta young boys/pedophilic librarian, and today before my appointment i ate every pill in my medicine cabinet" vibe.

So needless to say, im freakin out, uncomfortable in my own skin as it was accosted, NAY say i, MOLESTED, by this seemingly professional closet sex deviant. Thinking to myself, as this whole sordid scene plays out, that its always the ones you dont want this to happen with, that it happens, OR when it is the ones you want this to happen with, you arent single.

So after trying to tattoo around her 'hopefully faked' orgasmic act, in between fending off her hands and her groping fingers, i finally finish this 3 inch tulip thing on her hip. And she pays me and tips me with her phone number...

Now after this first inkling that sumthin wasnt quite right with her, my strange brain is playing the scene from Silence of the Lambs over and over throughout this entire tattoo, all i could hear in my head was....

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN :P

[BlakeTheRambler]

hahahaha. That's crazy.

[TattooPadawan]

I remember having an up-scale lady come in once with a pic that she printed off of the computer,... she tried to do he best to remove the watermark from Tattoo Johnny. LOL !
Anyway,... the design she brought in to us, she was wanting to have placed on the side of her foot. However,.. the trouble was she chose a med.sized design and was under the impression that I would be able to shrink the whole pic down from the size of a football to the size of a quarter.
After explaining to her how I could do something similar, only on a much smaller scale, she got mad and started to cuss and just be flat out rude.
I asked her to please tone it down or I would have to ask her to leave the studio.
About 2 weeks later we got a letter in the mail from the BBB (better Business Bureau,.. and it stated that we refused to preform a tattoo for her because of size discrimination.
LOL !!!!!

[SugarT]

LOL, AWESOME, keep em coming!

[young guns tattoo]

This older lady comes into the shop with an unfinished peice on her lower back. She wants it finished. The reason for the unfinished tattoo was as she explained " They kicked me out of the the shop". I asked "why". "Because I was too loud". At this point I'm puzzled and confused. She further explains that she has a tendency to moan during her tattoo. I thought to myself "well it can't be that bad" and proceeded to finishing this rather messed up piece of "art". This was just before closing time (thank God). So, at first things are fine she is doing great, a few little moans here and there, but all is fine. she asks for a break to use the rest room. comes back and all hell breaks loose. It sounds like a really bad over dramatic porn actress in the back of my studio. A few minutes later I hear the front door to the shop open then close. I get up to see who it is..... Of course I'm watching my wife screeching out of the parking lot nearly creaming two cars. I t took me days to convince her that I was'nt porking this girl back there, and that if she just would have looked she would have seen what was going on back there. The client asked after we finshed if I wanted to do another for her next week. I politely declined.

[SugarT]

yup, i wonder what it is but usually it is an older chick who is either getting off on being tattooed, or is faking getting off while being tattooed.... i was guest artist at a studio in Mcallen TX once, and i covered up a tummy tuck scar on this woman, bout late 30's id say, and i think when they sewed her back up they wired it wrong cus she was getting off on it too.

Hmm, maybe its just me? LOL naah

[monkey-spoon]

One day I had this dude come in wanting a cross to distract from this weird looking scar on his thigh, almost looked like he got shot..Anyway, we get started and he lets out this huuuuuge Michael Jackson scream and starts rapping and singing and screaming all at once! his brother was there and out of nowhere b1tc4slaps him and tells him to stop being a pussy/ and continues to slap him in the face alternating hands while hes sitting there screaming like a b1tc4. Haha, actually im not sure if thats the worst customer ever, but he was surey the most memorable

[SugarT]

We just had a guy come into the studio, who pulls me aside {keep in mind ive been at this new studio now for like 2 weeks}, and he says...

"hey man, can i talk to you ?"

im like " Sure..."

" i need to borrow $20 so i can go cash my check for $1800..., i'll bring it right back to you"

I go " Naww, i dont do that s&!t.."

he goes " comon man, its only so i can go get my SS check cashed..."

to which i reply " Ya know buddy, i was born but it wasnt yesterday, they take the cashing fee right out of the check at a check cashing place, and sometimes even a bank.."

so he goes " Whatever.." and walks out. This is a 45+ year old guy who the week before was overtly hitting on my female boss, saying stuff like at his age he can still 'do it' for like 45 minutes straight and s&!t...LOL he would randomly stop in before i started there to hang out, now that im there, he doesnt stop in, apparently im a lot scarier and less of a mark than my 115lb female owner/operator is :P

[conorblue]

short and sweet.

guy comes in.
been tattooed here before.
reeks like booze.
tell him he cant get a tattoo.
falls out of chair, hits face on other chair.
tell him to get a ride, because he cant drive out of here.
sit him on couch, get him water.
snatch his phone...he falls over couch.
call his girlfriend...she doesnt answer.
i offer to drive him home so he doesnt kill other people on the road.
he lunges at me...i get him in a headlock.
he is lifeless and murmurs "man, i was gonna give u a hug"
i drop him. lock the shop, and drive his dumb ass down the street.
tell him dont come back drunk.
comes back next day to get car...
doesnt remember our interaction.
i laugh.
he laughs.
what a tool.


GET HELP PAT, YOU ARE A DRUNK!