Some funny animal jokes!!!

[jlinnuste]

Two dogs were walking along the road. One dog stopped and said: "My name is Fido. What's yours?
The other dog thought for a minute, and then replied: "I think it's Down Boy."


This big, brawny, dark-skinned Latin guy walks into a bar. On his shoulder is a beautiful blue-and-red parrot. The bartender says, admiringly "That's beautiful; where'd you get it?"
and the parrot says "Down in Mexico; there's millions of 'em!"


A polar bear walks in to a bar and says to the barman. "I'll have a Gin and............................................... .....................tonic."
"Why the big pause?" replies the barman. the Polar bear looks down at this hands and says
"What do you mean, I've always had them."


A giant panda went into a cafe and ordered a cheeseburger. It sat there quietly eating the cheeseburger, then it got up, took out a gun, shot the waiter, and walked outside.
"Did you see that?" exclaimed a customer. "Why did he do that?" he asked the manager. The manager looked up from the book he was leafing through. "I'm looking it up in the dictionary," he replied. "It says here: "Panda, eats shoots and leaves."


Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes honey, but why do you want to know?
Baby snake: Well, I just bit my tongue...


A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp. "I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he's going to live with us - just like one of the family. He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife."
"But what about the smell?" the friend asked.
"Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did."