[SugarT]

No bites eh? ok ill start...

I had a woman come into the studio, mid to late 40's, dressed professionally, mild mannered, business attire. Real polite lady, wanted to add a tulip flower to 2 existing tulips on her left hip, made the appt, and off she went.

Day of the appt, she shows up, dressed nicely, still polite. Comes time for me to do the tattoo, and she strips down into her bra and panties, shes wearing kinda nice stuff, i guess, with garters and s&!t, like old folks lingerie, circa 1950's. Starts talking all this off the wall stuff, rubbing herself all over, in the mirror, like " this is my temple, my body, and your going to paint it and make it beautiful.."
As i think to myself, O___K!?!?!?WTF OVER?

As i start to apply said added tulip, she starts gyrating, more or less in some type of twilight zone porno climax, trying to tweak my nipples and grab my crotch, still talking all this crazy s&!t about her temple etc.

Now one thing id like to add at this juncture, i'm EXTREMELY happily married, i enjoy attention as much as anyone else and am flattered if 'hit on' by women, BUT, i wasnt getting that whole " i want this bad boy tattoo artist to do me" vibe, i was getting the whole " i touched a lotta young boys/pedophilic librarian, and today before my appointment i ate every pill in my medicine cabinet" vibe.

So needless to say, im freakin out, uncomfortable in my own skin as it was accosted, NAY say i, MOLESTED, by this seemingly professional closet sex deviant. Thinking to myself, as this whole sordid scene plays out, that its always the ones you dont want this to happen with, that it happens, OR when it is the ones you want this to happen with, you arent single.

So after trying to tattoo around her 'hopefully faked' orgasmic act, in between fending off her hands and her groping fingers, i finally finish this 3 inch tulip thing on her hip. And she pays me and tips me with her phone number...

Now after this first inkling that sumthin wasnt quite right with her, my strange brain is playing the scene from Silence of the Lambs over and over throughout this entire tattoo, all i could hear in my head was....

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN :P